The Force of Change

June 20th, 20ll. We got up at 4am. Almost immediately tears began to roll down my cheeks. It's strange how something can feel so real and so unbelievable at once. It probably sounds stupid to some people, when there are wives waiting for their husbands to come home safe from war, but this is my life. Our life. And it's been violently disrupted.

My best friend, my platonic-straight-pseudo-husband, my Dear One drove off with his (mine, our) little dog a little after 5 in the morning to return to his home state over 1700 miles away. We're calling it temporary. I'm praying it's temporary.

I can't wrap my head around it yet. I can still feel his hands in mine, my lips on his cheek. I can't imagine him still being gone a week from now, or even a day from now. I can't believe I have to be here alone, and I'm scared...and I'm determined to change this as soon as possible.

In this blog I'm hoping to chronicle a self-transfiguration. My 'adventures' in online schooling, money-saving, labor-intensive work, domestic responsibilities and likely several breakdowns that will hopefully lead to CHANGE. I'm going to get out of this state. I am going to be with my Dear One again, with a skill set, some new confidence, and a shiny new life path.

I have to fight for it.